Tonight, as I searched for a song for Music Monday, I came across this lovely melody, and I began to reflect. I began to remember the many bumps I’ve hit in my years, and I remind myself of all those to come. Yet even more than that, I realize how different I would be without my moments of weakness. There is a saying that you can’t find yourself until you lose yourself. And I think that’s what sophomore year was for me. I had to lose myself so that I could find myself. I had to face moments of unrelenting stress compounded with the pure agony of teenage heartbreak so that I could realize one day just what–no, who–I needed to become.
I can still remember the day that I fell in love with travel, that I tasted my first magical piece of wanderlust. After dealing with some particularly tumultuous issues, my outlook began to alter somewhat dramatically. It was from my breaking that I was able to pick up the pieces to form a puzzle more to my liking. But this scared me. It scared me to the nth degree. For so long I had believed I knew who I was and what I wanted from life. Now, all this was up in the air. But one day, I was on Pinterest (it sounds trivial, I know, but just humor me here) and I searched pictures of the places I would be visiting that June on my trip to Europe. Suddenly, I saw the world in a new light. Suddenly, I yearned to see it all, to experience it all. Suddenly, I had a new passion, one that I knew would not dissipate.
My term paper for English class is on Pantheism in Wordsworth’s poetry. For weeks I have been researching the love and divinity of nature through Wordsworth’s eyes, and after each beautiful line elevating nature more and more, I remind myself to “keep the earth below my feet.” Some people find their solace in religion, but I find mine in the oceans which surround me, the sky above me, and the earth below me.
“Let me learn from where I have been / Keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn.”